It’s The Weekend


0904091823I took this photo yesterday up at Willow Lake just as the sun was setting. It shows my son David and two of his kids, Maddie the 7 year old and Jayden the 3 year old terror. Maddie wanted to roll that log into the lake but needed help right at the end so it became a family affair.

David just bought Maddie a bmx race bike but it’s on backorder or we would have been at the track. Maddie is normally a pretty nervous girl and I think it comes from the fact that she lives with her mommy in a home full of “be careful”. On the other hand Jayden lives with her daddy with her twin. Jadyen was voted most likely to kill a vampire in her preschool. Kids need daddies too. Just a few days ago Maddie was pitching a fit that she couldn’t ride a bike on the bmx track and she was right. If you say you can’t, you can’t. It’s a guarantee. Can’t usually means won’t.

But she finally got the hang of it after watching her 4 year old cousin Lucy (not pictured) ride her bike all over, crash and even live through it. So peer pressure also works. Now she wants to race and I’m all for that as all of my sons raced BMX back in the day. You can’t pose your way through a BMX race the same as you can a little league baseball game so sign up all my grandkids.

Well as much as I disagree with our President when I heard President Obama was going to do an event around here I went to meet him, I hold the office in high regard regardless that it’s been filled by such clowns as Obama, Bush and Clinton.

The White House had arranged an event at the local hamburgers place, they had the President behind the counter as a cashier. I suppose this event was trying to make him out to be an ‘every man’ sort of guy. One thing you must know about me, I hate mayonaise, I think it’s one of the most disgusting codements, if not substances on this earth. Trying to give my order to the President didn’t work so well, heres how it went.

President of the United States (POTUS): Good evening sir, may I take…… your order?
Me: Wow, it sure is a pleasure to meet you Mr President.
POTUS: And what would like to eat today?
Me: Oh, I’ll have a cheese burger, only lettuce tomatoes and ketchup with a coke.
POTUS: Right, that’s a cheeseburger with lettuce tomatoes and mayonaise
Me: hum, no sir, no mayonaise, ketchup
POTUS: Right, but we put mayonaise on our burgers here.
Me: I really don’t like mayonaise Mr President, so I’ll just take ketchup
POTUS: You’re just being unresonable sir, why don’t you work with me in a bipartison way, to get some mayonaise on your burger
Me: (really puzzled) I don’t like mayonaise Mr President
POTUS: That’s quite and extremist point of view you’re voicing sir, there’s no reason that we can’t all have mayonaise on our burgers and enjoys it’s creamy goodness and you’re holding this kitchen staff up from getting mayonaise to everyone behind you.
Me: Mr President, I HATE mayonaise, the thought of it makes me ill, just give me a burgers with no mayonaise, h3ll just give me a plane burger with nothing on it and I’ll be happy, just no mayonaise, I hate mayonaise.
Person in crowd: JUST TAKE THE MAYONAISE YOU FACIST
Person in crowd 2: YOU RACIST, IF THE PRESIDENT WAS WHITE YOU’D TAKE THE MAYONAISE
Me: I’m not racist, I just don’t like mayonaise, I don’t care if it was my mother serving it I wouldn’t eat mayonaise.
POTUS: Oh, well there’s the issue you see, you’re letting your issues with you mother hold back all of these people from getting there mayonaise.
Me:JESUS I DON’T HAVE ISSUES WITH MY MOTHER, I HAVE AN ISSUE WITH MAYONAISE AND ANYBODY THAT’S GOING TO FORCE ME TO ………………

Before I could finish I was tackled down to the ground by secret service agents and arrested. After hours of questioning and a quite evasive body cavity search that’s going to take me a while to recover from I was released with only a ticket for disturbing the peace. So for disagreeing with Our President I can’t sh1t right for a week and have to shell out $150. I should have known better, the same type of thing happened when I tried to teach Bush how to pronounce Nuclear.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: